In a dramatic show of solidarity, the entirety of the CU Boulder Department of Mathematics staged a walk-out this Monday, forming a single-file line as they marched to the Registrar offices. Above their heads, they held the requisite paperwork to declare their unified change of majors to Physics.
When asked what motivated the mass decision, second-year Tyler Norman responded, “we just got so tired of having to prove everything. If something is true on average, can’t we just be happy with that?”
This sentiment appeared to be prevalent among the dozens of students, some of whom were within a semester of graduating. “We wanted to support the younger students and be unified,” said Robin Grace. “So what if we have to be here a bit longer? At least we’ll study something useful. Maybe something we write will be—referenced!”
Others shared similar gripes about feeling unappreciated in the larger scientific community. “Everyone is just using Artificial Intelligence now to solve all the problems,” says Eric Bunkle, a senior student whose exasperation was particularly apparent. He added, “if no one wants an explanation for how they work, why should we even bother working on theory?”
When asked for comment, the chair of the Physics Department left us only with a brief statement: “We don’t understand it, but we’ll take it. Every time the math department loses a student to the physics department, an angel earns its wings.”
Local fifth grader Tiffany Little was asked about the dramatic exodus. “Isn’t Physics just math, but real?” she asked, looking bored. “Anyway, this is dumb. Can I have my phone back now?”
By Michael Pilosov